0001 - may052007

never heard so much cursing, shouting..

lifted the handbreak, tried to wipe off tears, grabbed my
stuff, managed to open the door and bulged out with shaky knees, weakened heart, unstable gutt, and whatever's left of my flushed-away self-esteem.

at 1230 am in the middle of an almost empty parking space
with merely 2 sleepy on-duty guards i patiently stood and waited for a cab thinking real hard about the things i have done to deserve what was pretty much a ruthless experience.

I called up a bestfriend, and tried begging her to stay on line til i got a decent ride home. I felt so exhausted and humiliated and hurt--really hurt all at the same time.

Yet this was just the beginning...

never imagined how someone you so looked-up to and respected and loved would forget that sometime before he promised to take good care of me and what we had.

Before this night he took me far beyond what i ever wanted...

And tonight...he just let go.